We went to Church and at Sunday school they were talking about the unpardonable sin. I asked them what the unpardonable sin was. This person gave me wrong information. This person told me that if I ever made fun of someone speaking in tongues that I commented the unpardonable sin. Tongues are a gift from the Holy Spirit; it’s a Spiritual language from Heaven. I used to make fun of the people at my grandma’s church I thought they were crazy for speaking in tongues so I thought that I commented the unpardonable sin and thought that I could never be forgiven. The unpardonable sin is someone speaking against the Holy Spirit and meaning it from his or her heart. This person would have to been with God for a long time and walked very deeply with God and then decide to turn away from God never to serve Him again. I didn’t tell anyone that I thought I commented the unpardonable sin. I kept it to myself and begged and pleaded with God to forgive me.

 My grandma took me to a prayer meeting. They were singing praise songs about Salvation and I felt unworthy to sing these songs. There was a picture on the wall of Jesus. Every time I looked at the picture of Jesus I felt so much love and peace. It was if the eyes would follow me in the room. When I looked away I felt unworthy and fill of sin. After the Bible study was over they were praying for people and laying hands on the sick. They would speak in tongues and Ruth would prophesy (give a message from God for the person). I said a prayer "Jesus if you still love me and forgive me please give Ruth a message that you still love me and forgive me?" I also thought to myself, "I wonder if God knows that I love Him even when I have doubts about Him?" I decided to go up for prayer. I really needed to know that what they were doing was of God. I knew if I told people, that I felt God hated me and that I commented the unpardonable sin they could make up a message that God loves me. I really needed to know God was speaking so I did not tell anyone that I thought that I commented the unpardonable sin. I went up for healing because I had a bad stomach ache. They laid hands on me and begin to pray in tongues. I felt heat coming from their hands. This heat started to go though my head and though my body and when it got to my stomach the pain went away. Then Ruth told me, "Jesus has a message for you and this is what He is saying to you." "My little child, if you have sinned against Me I forgive you. I know that you love Me even though you have doubts about Me. I am not a mean God but a loving God and I do not punish people for their doubts." I felt a burden lift off my shoulders. Jesus also told me to love myself more and told me that because of me that many people would come to Him. My whole life changed. I could understand the Bible for the very first time. It was if the Words just jump off the pages at me. I would spend hours just reading the bible. Jesus was real to me. I could feel His love and sometimes feel His arms around me.